My new job is kicking my ass. I have almost no time to myself....I have to actually force myself to relax these days! I haven't even felt motivated to work out, which is unusual for me. Next week, I'm getting my life back no matter what. I feel like all I do is work, work, work.

I am feeling really good about my skin right now. The Spiro is definitely working, I think. I have no zits right now, just a few small red marks that can be covered up with a dot of concealer. My skin is less oily too.

Skinnie, i've been there many times over. It's hard when family doesnt get us. I'm beginning to think its a generational thing but either way, it's wasted enegy to get baited into an argument with anyone. If you need to leave, leave. I found that when i am away from my mom, our relationship flourishes. When we are together, get ready for the fourth of July. You are going to make a phenomenal doctor and you will pave your own way through this world. You may find that you have to do it alone for the time being but stay strong sistah as anythings possible.

 

 

Loving the fact that my acne is controlled but hating the fact that my skin tone is shit (thanks BP....not!). But seriously, i am grateful that my acne has subsided to the point that i can live my life. I have reconnected with old friends, got reenergized for my career and i am determined to open myself up to the possibility of meeting new people for friendship and possibly a relationship. I am also trying to get back on the healthy track and take care of myself physically and emotionally.

Thanks so much for the support! It really means a lot that people on this board care (even when you post things not acne related.) My mother and I are like that too; when we're apart, we're so close.

Have you considered a Clarisonic? That's really helping with my skin tone. If you buy from Ulta, it's really easy to return. I think they have a 30 day policy. And get the softer brush heads; they're gentler. I didn't even think about buying a clarisonic until a friend of mine suggested it. I thought it would be harsh on the skin, but it's actually not harsh at all!

Your skin tone is probably bad because bp dries out your skin, creating a layer of dead flakes. If you get rid of that top layer, it makes your skin look newer and brighter.

It's terrible when the people who you expect to care the most do the complete opposite. I can relate to the pain. It's even more hurtful that it's your mother-- who obviously you care about and admire or else you wouldn't be pursuing a similar career-- is so unsupportive and not understanding.

 

This was just a fight that you had-- I think having time away from her will hopefully cause her to realize that her response to your illness was a little inconsiderate. Hopefully your family ties aren't broken from this and it will heal after a while. She will most likely still help you pay for school. She probably just felt afraid and annoyed that you were telling her how a doctor is "supposed" to be, when she has a lot of experience at it. She's probably nervous for you because she cares so much about you and has high expectations. Everything both of you said was due to the high levels of emotion in the room. You probably both need each other very much.

 

I say this stuff because I am also following in my mother's footsteps to a very honorable career, and she has blown up once or twice about it. Your mother is probably very proud of you, but maybe distance will help your relationship until you are attending medical school or your residency.

I don't think she's going to realize that it was inconsiderate (I've been waiting years for that day), because she simply doesn't think my symptoms, illnesses, or concerns are legitimate. I don't know why. Perhaps she's in denial? However, you're right. Everything will probably be just fine and she'll help me pay--we've had worse arguments. Sometimes, I wish I could just understand her. I don't, though. I understand the other people who are close to me (friends, brother, dad) more than I understand her. I've tried, but I just don't get it.

I feel awful today. Once again, my mother and I had an argument. The doctor, who found nothing wrong with my hormone lab tests requested that I make a follow up appointment. I was thinking out loud when I remarked that this was still on my to-do list. My mom responded, "I don't know why they asked you to, but yup they said to make another appointment" And I replied, "Well, it's probably because they haven't figured out why my hair is falling out yet." and she said, "my hair falls out too; it's normal." SMH. Why would you say that??? That's such gaslighting. If a normal amount of hair were falling out, I wouldn't be going to the doctor. By saying, "it's normal," she's implying that I'm some sort of hypochondriac, that she doesn't understand my concern about the illness. There are all kinds of implications there. So I started talking loudly (not yelling) telling her that I hated it when she did this. She's a doctor, and she should understand that if I'm concerned about something like this, it is not okay to tell me it's normal. Well, she exploded at me and yelled at me to shut up. I told her to go to hell. The thing is, this is how she responds to all illnesses of mine. When I broke my orbital bone (underneath my eye), her first response was that I was exaggerating, that I was a drama queen. It wasn't until I started puking that she took me to the hospital. And I'm sick of it. She threatens to hit me if I don't shut up. Abusive ****. So, then I went for passive aggressive anger, and made a mess on the table. (spilled some rice). She didn't take well to that. Threatened to stop giving me any money if I didn't clean it up. Said it over and over again. I told her to stop saying it ; I heard her. Totally planned on cleaning it up. Told her to go to hell again. She said she wasn't giving me a dime. I exploded at her again and told her I didn't need her or her money. I'm 21; I'll get a loan to pay for med school if I have to. I'm packing everything now, so that I don't need to come back for a few months. I'll stay at college. Which sucks, because I won't get to see my brothers. At this point, though, i just want to escape from this goddam family.

I know this has very little to do with acne... but. I don't know. I just really needed to vent. I'm a good person, I swear. I care about others so much it hurts sometimes. But...my family just makes me want to curl in a ball and cry.

Sorry to hear things are rough between you and your mom.

I know what it's like when family can't / don't understand your situation or worries about your skin etc - I remember years ago asking my mum if I could go to a dermatologist about my skin but her reply was about how expensive it is and that the waiting list is long. Things like that make me feel like she doesn't care about me. Which I know isn't true - in other ways it's obvious that she does care about me. But she just can't see how something like acne could effect me like it has - I don't know if she even realises how lucky she was/is to have grown up with clear skin and to still have clear skin.

Have you tried just sitting down with your mom and having a conversation about this - how you feel and how what she says / does in certain situations makes you feel etc? This way, you'll both end up understanding each other.

Just start the conversation when there's time (not just after / during a fight) and say something like 'I'm not trying to upset you or start an argument, -I just need to say this and get all my thoughts out now. So please just wait until I've finished before you say anything' - or something like that - so it doesn't turn into an argument if she doesn't agree with something you're saying.

This would be difficult for me to do, so I can understand if you don't think it'll work - but I thought I'd suggest it because it might be worth a try. You never know, it could make your relationship a bit smoother and you'd be able to stay and see your brothers or feel more comfortable going back home more often to see them if you do go live at college anyway.

I hope things get better between you and your mom soon!

I am feeling scared. I have no one to talk to about it, and I feel that the state of my face is effecting how people like me, or find me attractive. My friends are starting to make fun of me more and more for my acne. I don't even know how bad it actually is due to the fact that everyone I know has perfect skin. I am looking to try The Regimen, but I have no idea as to what products I should use, as I live in Australia and I can't get the official products shipped.

I am mostly writing this just to get thoughts out of my head, and well, typed somewhere.

 

Got a terrible initial breakout from switching bcp... From Diane35 to Yasmin... I was already 6 months on bcp and there's still ib?? Sucks...

I recently switched from the Mirena IUD to Beyaz and had quite the initial breakout. I know how you feel...ugh. Mine only lasted about a week and half, though! I hope yours is short, as well!! Did you switch because your doctor made you?

Ah, how annoying... I have never heard about the ones you're taking, what do they contain? Is it anything similar to Diane/Yasmin?

Yeah, my doctor thought it's not good to stay on Diane for too long. She also suggested me to get off bcp after 6 more months on Yasmin, which is freaking crazy I would break out like hell, what is she thinking

Skin colour is ridiculous, super PIH.. but it is smooth and flat and feels like my skin again so I'm actually pretty happy right now!

 

Got a terrible initial breakout from switching bcp... From Diane35 to Yasmin... I was already 6 months on bcp and there's still ib?? Sucks...

I recently switched from the Mirena IUD to Beyaz and had quite the initial breakout. I know how you feel...ugh. Mine only lasted about a week and half, though! I hope yours is short, as well!! Did you switch because your doctor made you?

 

Ah, how annoying... I have never heard about the ones you're taking, what do they contain? Is it anything similar to Diane/Yasmin?

Yeah, my doctor thought it's not good to stay on Diane for too long. She also suggested me to get off bcp after 6 more months on Yasmin, which is freaking crazy I would break out like hell, what is she thinking

Mirena IUD (intrauterine device) is a purely progesterone implant in the uterus. It freaked my body out and I think it was causing some of the really bad hormonal acne that I was experiencing!

Beyaz is super similar to Yasmin. It's got the same stuff in it, but Yasmin has a little more estrogen than Beyaz. My doctor recommended it because it's supposed to stabilize hormones and not allow you to fluctuate so much during the month. I'm really hoping it will help with my acne, but she told me to wait 3 months. We'll see. And I cannot even imagine what would happen if I had to be off of birth control for 6 months! I think my body would just give up and explode. haha.

On 9/3/2013 at 12:31 AM, Exister said:

Trying the Dr. Clark liver cleanse today. Why not, right?

[Edited link out]

Well that was a total scam. Missed a birthday dinner (it was spontaneous not planned so I didn't know before I committed to the fast) and a day of work, had diarrhea all night and day, for nothing. Worried that it did harm too. I know it did no good, but it would suck if it did harm.

Breakout. Not a big one (touch wood), but, still, a breakout.

I just want to stay home and wait a couple of days it'll become better, but I cannot.

I've got two huge sticking plasters. It's so big they are in relief haha! I look disgusting.

I want to hide underground everytime people can look at my chin and my right cheek.

I saw a photo of myself from 1 year ago and I almost cried. What a difference a year makes. Sometimes I think I'm cursed or jinxed because my life did a complete 180 in the course of only a few months and everything is upside down. Sometimes I think that whenever I'm happy, the jealousy of some people (which I try hard to keep out of my life but it's almost impossible) takes my happiness away. I know it's crazy, but it's happened so many times that I just don't know what to think anymore. Trying to stay positive...

Yesterday and today I've been embarrassed to go out and talk to people face-to-face / make eye contact. Yes, my skin has improved with the regimen (which I am happy about and thankful for) but I've been breaking out a bit more lately and have two new particularly annoying breakouts (one on upper lip and one at the corner of my mouth) - and they're so noticeable and gross. And so I haven't wanted to go out or talk to people... but I forced myself to get to uni and once there, I had to talk to people... No doubt they noticed my skin but at least they didn't say anything.... Hoping these two spots clear up fast (followed by the rest of the breakouts)!

On 9/4/2013 at 10:56 AM, WishClean said:

I saw a photo of myself from 1 year ago and I almost cried. What a difference a year makes. Sometimes I think I'm cursed or jinxed because my life did a complete 180 in the course of only a few months and everything is upside down. Sometimes I think that whenever I'm happy, the jealousy of some people (which I try hard to keep out of my life but it's almost impossible) takes my happiness away. I know it's crazy, but it's happened so many times that I just don't know what to think anymore. Trying to stay positive...

I hate looking at pictures of myself from when I was clear, it makes me so depressed. The worst part is, I actually used to complain about the occasional pimple but my skin looked awesome. Now I have cystic acne all over my chin and tons of hyperpigmentation all over my chin and forehead.

I saw a photo of myself from 1 year ago and I almost cried. What a difference a year makes. Sometimes I think I'm cursed or jinxed because my life did a complete 180 in the course of only a few months and everything is upside down. Sometimes I think that whenever I'm happy, the jealousy of some people (which I try hard to keep out of my life but it's almost impossible) takes my happiness away. I know it's crazy, but it's happened so many times that I just don't know what to think anymore. Trying to stay positive...

I know the feeling. Its been almost exactly 1 year that everything turned to shit for me too. Was great for 3 years before that. Hang in there; we'll find something

So it's gonna happen. I booked my first Fraxel procedure on 20th of September!!

 

I saw a photo of myself from 1 year ago and I almost cried. What a difference a year makes. Sometimes I think I'm cursed or jinxed because my life did a complete 180 in the course of only a few months and everything is upside down. Sometimes I think that whenever I'm happy, the jealousy of some people (which I try hard to keep out of my life but it's almost impossible) takes my happiness away. I know it's crazy, but it's happened so many times that I just don't know what to think anymore. Trying to stay positive...

I hate looking at pictures of myself from when I was clear, it makes me so depressed. The worst part is, I actually used to complain about the occasional pimple but my skin looked awesome. Now I have cystic acne all over my chin and tons of hyperpigmentation all over my chin and forehead.

Same here. I used to get a pimple or two around my period, and sometimes it would ruin my confidence. Now I look back and think, wow, my skin looked really good and I should have been enjoying life and not letting a couple of pimples hold me back.

 

I saw a photo of myself from 1 year ago and I almost cried. What a difference a year makes. Sometimes I think I'm cursed or jinxed because my life did a complete 180 in the course of only a few months and everything is upside down. Sometimes I think that whenever I'm happy, the jealousy of some people (which I try hard to keep out of my life but it's almost impossible) takes my happiness away. I know it's crazy, but it's happened so many times that I just don't know what to think anymore. Trying to stay positive...

I know the feeling. Its been almost exactly 1 year that everything turned to shit for me too. Was great for 3 years before that. Hang in there; we'll find something

It's crazy how life can be so unpredictable. I guess we just have to make the most of it and appreciate every good thing because you never know how long it will last. Hang in there too!

I don't know how to socialize, fuckin clueless.

No one is perfect....that's why pencils have erasers and

Pens white out.-- unknown.

pretty soon going on 4 years since I made this thread!

I knew it would last since we all need somewhere to vent. Sad that I still struggle.

I'm going to finish off a bottle of antibiotics pretty soon (well in about 2 weeks, had 'em since last November so it feels soon). It does help a lot, but i'm not thrilled about that. I suppose I'll take the good with the potential bad.

Since I'm only on them off and on, I break out during the off moments. It's a big ol' cycle.

Gonna have to renew my antibiotics

I was clear all through summer. I was relaxed, I felt good and had amazing skin! I started work again two weeks ago and guess what... I'm breaking out all over my chin and cheeks again... I'm so tired of this

Yesterday I stayed home. I couldn't face anyone... Luckily I didn't have to call in sick as I can work from home time to time. But today I have to go to work and it's even worse than yesterday...

Okay here's what I'm thinking, I'll do it in point form it's just easier that way.

 

-Red marks are gettin' me down, they feel like they're getting worse. (I know that's practically impossible but I'm having a bad day, sue me.)

-Over the past few months acne is slowly coming back after getting off the tane... this is even more depressing because once you taste what it's like to be clear you never wanna go back.

-Been slacking in my diet and it's showing. I need to be more strict with myself.

-Got a pimple on my cheek, since most of my acne is around my mouth this was particularly depressing. Haven't had acne on my cheeks since before tane, or as I like to call it "The dark times".

 

Oh and I thought I had a date to grad (prom, for you Americans) but she changed her mind. This was a severe blow to my ego.

 

Best of luck to you all.

Have you tried using Retin A after the tane?

From what I have read, people need to be on Retin A after tane in order to keep the skin clear for long term

pretty soon going on 4 years since I made this thread!

I knew it would last since we all need somewhere to vent. Sad that I still struggle.

I'm going to finish off a bottle of antibiotics pretty soon (well in about 2 weeks, had 'em since last November so it feels soon). It does help a lot, but i'm not thrilled about that. I suppose I'll take the good with the potential bad.

Since I'm only on them off and on, I break out during the off moments. It's a big ol' cycle.

Gonna have to renew my antibiotics

It was a great idea for a thread! Glad that it's still active - like you said, we all need somewhere to vent!

Hope your skin 'behaves' while off the antibiotics

Feeling pretty good this week, I hope I didn't jinx it by posting it I recently moved to a new city, and I noticed that more people have acne and/or scarring here. It could be the climate and the hard water. I see people with severe acne and scarring almost every day, but most of them are smiling and seem happy so I think that makes them really beautiful. I also admire girls who go out in public without trying to cover up their skin, and they sometimes look better than girls who pile on the orange makeup even if their skin is flawless. I noticed that people smile at me often on the campus where I work at, and at first I thought it was out of pity but now I think it's because bad skin is common around here so they probably don't even think it's a distracting feature. Who knows. I wish I could read people's minds.

Feeling pretty good this week, I hope I didn't jinx it by posting it I recently moved to a new city, and I noticed that more people have acne and/or scarring here. It could be the climate and the hard water. I see people with severe acne and scarring almost every day, but most of them are smiling and seem happy so I think that makes them really beautiful. I also admire girls who go out in public without trying to cover up their skin, and they sometimes look better than girls who pile on the orange makeup even if their skin is flawless. I noticed that people smile at me often on the campus where I work at, and at first I thought it was out of pity but now I think it's because bad skin is common around here so they probably don't even think it's a distracting feature. Who knows. I wish I could read people's minds.

Sounds like a dream place I want to go live there.

 

Feeling pretty good this week, I hope I didn't jinx it by posting it I recently moved to a new city, and I noticed that more people have acne and/or scarring here. It could be the climate and the hard water. I see people with severe acne and scarring almost every day, but most of them are smiling and seem happy so I think that makes them really beautiful. I also admire girls who go out in public without trying to cover up their skin, and they sometimes look better than girls who pile on the orange makeup even if their skin is flawless. I noticed that people smile at me often on the campus where I work at, and at first I thought it was out of pity but now I think it's because bad skin is common around here so they probably don't even think it's a distracting feature. Who knows. I wish I could read people's minds.

 

 

Sounds like a dream place I want to go live there.

Haha. I also see people with flawless skin on a daily basis, but because I tend to notice the people with bad skin it seems to me like there are more people with skin issues than there are with good skin. Maybe the chances of being discriminated due to bad skin are less in this town, but I'm sure there are still plenty of judgmental a-holes to keep the balance.