I'm a 34 year old male virgin who has never been on a date, or has had any sort of sexual experience with a woman. I've never even had any female friends. I probably have some personality issues, but the number one reason I believe is my acne and the subsequent scarring that I've had since I was 14. Has anyone overcame the odds and found dating success and or love despite having this genetic flaw? I often cringe when I walk by a woman and imagine what she thinks about my deformed face. I often imagine my female co-workers saying disparaging things about how I look. Even though I've controlled my adult acne, my scarring has made me feel like this will be a permanent affliction in my life.

I am a 30 yr old virgin who also doesnt date because of acne. Why dont you look for a woman with acne??? She might b feeling just as insecure as you are!

As for that prostitute comment that was posted. Well if all you're after is sex then alright. Is that all that guys really want? That isnt going to lead to meaningful companionship. If u really want a relationship i think you have to make the move - i suppose i am old fashioned but i would never ask a guy out i am just too shy. But dont go for someone who looks like barbie !! Take a chance on a girl who you might consider to be plain or frumpy - but who might turn out to b amazing once you get to know her. Well thats my opinion anyway

I have tried that before. It didn't work.

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

I don't believe he has to find someone else with acne and insecurity issues. It doesn't make sense. We can't allow people to degrade us just because we have something we can't control. I refuse to believe that someone with clear skin can't find interest in someone with acne, I just can't and it doesn't make sense. There are plenty of people who have found love with acne and their partner's face is clear. If you believe that you can't then obviously it's not going to happen because your thoughts are attracting all that negativity into the universe.

I've had someone with clear skin break my heart when my face got really bad, but it wasn't because there was something wrong with me, it was because there was something clearly wrong with him. I respected his decision to leave and I realized that I deserved better than a shallow bastard. Would it be nice to have clearer skin and not have gone through that? Maybe. But I wouldn't want to be with someone just because he likes the way I look.

Just because we have acne or scars doesn't mean that we're not considered worthy in society. Yes, people are fucked up, but we can't allow them to make us feel bad and believe that they are better than us because they're not.

You are right someone with acne should not b considered unworthy or feel they can only date another person with acne. I am definitely not saying that. I guess i am just saying that someone who has the same condition as you might b more understanding about what you're going through. I suppose personally i would like to date a guy with acne because i feel he would understand me better and vice versa.

I don't have any experience as well, but i don't see the dating rules as binary as most of you do. But maybe I'm just beeing naive.

There are both examples and counter examples everywhere to what you are saying.

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

Do you think that I have the time and money to meet every single person on the planet? Of course I have to base my conclusions on some people. I have problems, but I am not really crazy. Most people are very simple minded.

I am not deemed conventionally attractive *already*, regardless of my personality and regardless whether people know me or not. Do you think that I am talking like this for fun???

You are saying that there are ways to increase my chances and then you don't proceed to explain those ways. Why stop there? Do you think I can read your mind or something?

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

Do you think that I have the time and money to meet every single person on the planet? Of course I have to base my conclusions on some people. I have problems, but I am not really crazy. Most people are very simple minded.

I am not deemed conventionally attractive *already*, regardless of my personality and regardless whether people know me or not. Do you think that I am talking like this for fun???

You are saying that there are ways to increase my chances and then you don't proceed to explain those ways. Why stop there? Do you think I can read your mind or something?

I agree. Most people operate only slightly above the lizard-brain level. That is, only slightly above animal instinct.

Anyway, now that my hormones are calming, I don't masturbate as often as I used to, but in high school and college, that was the only thing that kept me sane! Also, I don't waste my time with online dating and looking for a GF/wife and instead when I get the urge for some female touch and "companionship" I go to a strip club 2 states away.

I am not afraid of dying alone because alone is all I have ever been and when my parents are no longer alive, I will truly be alone....but I am ok with that.....I am an observer of the human species... and sometimes a participant...

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

Do you think that I have the time and money to meet every single person on the planet? Of course I have to base my conclusions on some people. I have problems, but I am not really crazy. Most people are very simple minded.

I am not deemed conventionally attractive *already*, regardless of my personality and regardless whether people know me or not. Do you think that I am talking like this for fun???

You are saying that there are ways to increase my chances and then you don't proceed to explain those ways. Why stop there? Do you think I can read your mind or something?

I never said that, but you have the internet don't you? Not to mention it's still unfair to group people together. Like for example, the only lesbians I personally know happen to be pretty geeky (not saying there's anything wrong with that), but I don't assume that all lesbians are that way just because the ones I know are.

I don't think you are talking like this for fun, and I'm genuinely sorry that you've been dealt a bad hand. My point with the personality thing was that the people who are honestly attracted to personality over appearance are going to be driven away, and you don't want to do that because they're not common to come across. I had thought I implied your way to increase your chances in my previous post but I probably wasn't clear enough so I'll reiterate.

First of all putting yourself out there always increases your chances because of the simple fact that you will meet more people. More importantly though is having a welcoming demeanor, and being generally pleasant. Even though people may not be physically attracted to you, its possible to draw them in with a good personality. This doesn't mean you have to be bubbly and optimistic or anything, but being caring, tolerant, and trustworthy is important and well received by everyone but bigots.

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

Do you think that I have the time and money to meet every single person on the planet? Of course I have to base my conclusions on some people. I have problems, but I am not really crazy. Most people are very simple minded.

I am not deemed conventionally attractive *already*, regardless of my personality and regardless whether people know me or not. Do you think that I am talking like this for fun???

You are saying that there are ways to increase my chances and then you don't proceed to explain those ways. Why stop there? Do you think I can read your mind or something?

I never said that, but you have the internet don't you? Not to mention it's still unfair to group people together. Like for example, the only lesbians I personally know happen to be pretty geeky (not saying there's anything wrong with that), but I don't assume that all lesbians are that way just because the ones I know are.

 

I don't think you are talking like this for fun, and I'm genuinely sorry that you've been dealt a bad hand. My point with the personality thing was that the people who are honestly attracted to personality over appearance are going to be driven away, and you don't want to do that because they're not common to come across. I had thought I implied your way to increase your chances in my previous post but I probably wasn't clear enough so I'll reiterate.

 

First of all putting yourself out there always increases your chances because of the simple fact that you will meet more people. More importantly though is having a welcoming demeanor, and being generally pleasant. Even though people may not be physically attracted to you, its possible to draw them in with a good personality. This doesn't mean you have to be bubbly and optimistic or anything, but being caring, tolerant, and trustworthy is important and well received by everyone but bigots.

I don't think there are people attracted to personality over appearance. I have never met them. From my experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible to draw people in with a good personality. I am not allowed to hang out with people. No one wants to do that with me, regardless of how my personality is. I am not a shitty person. I am surrounded by shitty people and the psychologists of the social skills training confirmed that.

80-20 theory is legit

I don't think there are people attracted to personality over appearance. I have never met them. From my experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible to draw people in with a good personality. I am not allowed to hang out with people. No one wants to do that with me, regardless of how my personality is. I am not a shitty person. I am surrounded by shitty people and the psychologists of the social skills training confirmed that.

There ARE, but it's much more uncommon. I can tell you from my experience that it is not impossible to draw people in with a good personality.

I don't know what you mean by you're not allowed to hang out with people though.

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

 

In general women are more pickier than men. It's been proven with studies with online dating that show that women only gravitate towards the 10-20% of men that are best looking and avoid the other 80% entirely.

 

I would never listen to women regarding dating advice because what they say is never reality. They just want to look good by saying what is socially acceptable.

 

"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh."

 

- Okcupid study

...So you think I'm lying just because I have a uterus? If I wanted to look good by saying what is socially acceptable I would say I think everyone is beautiful/handsome and that I was one of those people who don't care at all about appearances at all. Well, I'm not.

Can you guys stop acting like men are the victim to the horrible, vain women? Guess what, a lot of guys judge women on how they look too. Its society, not gender. Could you tell me without bullshiting that you'd be interested in a "hideous" woman if you were attractive looking yourself?

 

I don't think there are people attracted to personality over appearance. I have never met them. From my experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible to draw people in with a good personality. I am not allowed to hang out with people. No one wants to do that with me, regardless of how my personality is. I am not a shitty person. I am surrounded by shitty people and the psychologists of the social skills training confirmed that.

There ARE, but it's much more uncommon. I can tell you from my experience that it is not impossible to draw people in with a good personality.

I don't know what you mean by you're not allowed to hang out with people though.

>

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

 

In general women are more pickier than men. It's been proven with studies with online dating that show that women only gravitate towards the 10-20% of men that are best looking and avoid the other 80% entirely.

 

I would never listen to women regarding dating advice because what they say is never reality. They just want to look good by saying what is socially acceptable.

 

"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh."

 

- Okcupid study

...So you think I'm lying just because I have a uterus? If I wanted to look good by saying what is socially acceptable I would say I think everyone is beautiful/handsome and that I was one of those people who don't care at all about appearances at all. Well, I'm not.

 

Can you guys stop acting like men are the victim to the horrible, vain women? Guess what, a lot of guys judge women on how they look too. Its society, not gender. Could you tell me without bullshiting that you'd be interested in a "hideous" woman if you were attractive looking yourself?

Oh, so there are people like that out there. Can you point them out for me in my neighbourhood, please? People (and girls) don't want to hang out with me. They are not allowing me to do that.

No, we think you are lying because of the immensely discriminating behaviour generally displayed by women. It's true that men can display that behaviour as well, but in far, far less capacity. "Hideous" people don't exist. I have sex with skinny A cup women, I have sex with fat D cup women, white, black... I don't really care.

 

I don't think there are people attracted to personality over appearance. I have never met them. From my experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible to draw people in with a good personality. I am not allowed to hang out with people. No one wants to do that with me, regardless of how my personality is. I am not a shitty person. I am surrounded by shitty people and the psychologists of the social skills training confirmed that.

There ARE, but it's much more uncommon. I can tell you from my experience that it is not impossible to draw people in with a good personality.

I don't know what you mean by you're not allowed to hang out with people though.

>>

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

 

In general women are more pickier than men. It's been proven with studies with online dating that show that women only gravitate towards the 10-20% of men that are best looking and avoid the other 80% entirely.

 

I would never listen to women regarding dating advice because what they say is never reality. They just want to look good by saying what is socially acceptable.

 

"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh."

 

- Okcupid study

...So you think I'm lying just because I have a uterus? If I wanted to look good by saying what is socially acceptable I would say I think everyone is beautiful/handsome and that I was one of those people who don't care at all about appearances at all. Well, I'm not.

 

Can you guys stop acting like men are the victim to the horrible, vain women? Guess what, a lot of guys judge women on how they look too. Its society, not gender. Could you tell me without bullshiting that you'd be interested in a "hideous" woman if you were attractive looking yourself?

Oh, so there are people like that out there. Can you point them out for me in my neighbourhood, please? People (and girls) don't want to hang out with me. They are not allowing me to do that.

No, we think you are lying because of the immensely discriminating behaviour generally displayed by women. It's true that men can display that behaviour as well, but in far, far less capacity. "Hideous" people don't exist. I have sex with skinny A cup women, I have sex with fat D cup women, white, black... I don't really care.

Obviously, I don't know you neighborhood so it may very well be completely full of vain women. You have the internet though, and can meet potential partners through it. If people don't want to hang out with you, the most likely reason is because of your personality. Most people don't care how attractive a friend looks at all.

What do you mean "hideous" doesn't exist? I put it in quotes since beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all, but a woman totally covered in severe acne is considered "ugly" by the public. You still didn't answer my question. If you were attractive, would you still give your attention to conventionally ugly woman or would you give it to conventionally pretty women?

Link me to some REAL studies if you want to prove that women judge appearance more.

http://meinnaturwissenschaftsblog.blogspot.com/2014/07/sex-differences-in-implications-of.html

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/07/03/kenrick-beauty/

 

It's totally gender. I don't use the term "hideous" but what you may consider "hideous" is a fetish for men that doesn't exist for women (which is why some men like BBW and there's even a guy on this board with an acne fetish). You never hear about women wanting obese/overweight men. You already saw the dating study from Okcupid which is a "real" study from a major dating site that shows that women only respond to 10-20% of the top men and the rest on their are screwed. Women get constant attention from Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, etc. that men don't get. This is why women don't understand why men are single. If you have a vagina, regardless of your looks you will get constant attention and hundreds of messages on dating sites. Average to decent looking men and anything below that will be completely ignored and unable to get any dates online so the fact that you say that he should be able to get into a relationship online is a joke.

 

Women can't see things from another perspective because they're so privileged in the dating world/western society in general that when a man complains about not being able to get a date they say "it must be his personality" when in reality the only reason they get so many messages is not because they have a good personality or even look good but men in society are so desperate and have no standards that they will message ANYTHING with a vagina.

That's totally untrue. I'm sure there are woman who have a fetish for obese men too, just they are less likely to come out about it unlike the men because the men more often feel like they are doing the obese woman a favor by fetishizing their weight. I wouldn't call the dating study from OKcupid a "real" study. There wasn't even any link to it.

Trust me, women do not get attention just for having a vagina. I would know, I have one, but I've never had any man take interest in me. You don't see me crying "boohoo" and calling all men pigs, do you? If you're an ugly women, you don't get men drooling over you. Sure there are some men are so horny that they'd have sex with anything that moves, I don't know, but for the most part men want an attractive woman for a partner.

 

It's totally gender. I don't use the term "hideous" but what you may consider "hideous" is a fetish for men that doesn't exist for women (which is why some men like BBW and there's even a guy on this board with an acne fetish). You never hear about women wanting obese/overweight men. You already saw the dating study from Okcupid which is a "real" study from a major dating site that shows that women only respond to 10-20% of the top men and the rest on their are screwed. Women get constant attention from Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, etc. that men don't get. This is why women don't understand why men are single. If you have a vagina, regardless of your looks you will get constant attention and hundreds of messages on dating sites. Average to decent looking men and anything below that will be completely ignored and unable to get any dates online so the fact that you say that he should be able to get into a relationship online is a joke.

 

Women can't see things from another perspective because they're so privileged in the dating world/western society in general that when a man complains about not being able to get a date they say "it must be his personality" when in reality the only reason they get so many messages is not because they have a good personality or even look good but men in society are so desperate and have no standards that they will message ANYTHING with a vagina.

That's totally untrue. I'm sure there are woman who have a fetish for obese men too, just they are less likely to come out about it unlike the men because the men more often feel like they are doing the obese woman a favor by fetishizing their weight. I wouldn't call the dating study from OKcupid a "real" study. There wasn't even any link to it.

 

Trust me, women do not get attention just for having a vagina. I would know, I have one, but I've never had any man take interest in me. You don't see me crying "boohoo" and calling all men pigs, do you? If you're an ugly women, you don't get men drooling over you. Sure there are some men are so horny that they'd have sex with anything that moves, I don't know, but for the most part men want an attractive woman for a partner.

 

"BBW" things for men is mainstream and well documented. I do not see the women's groups for BBM. That is not even a term! Look up the study. If real data from a major dating site is only not a real study to you because it doesn't have the results you want.

 

If you went on a dating site you would get messages regardless if you think you're "ugly" or not. Women can get a date or have a sexual partner anytime they want because there will always be men waiting for them. 80-90% of men don't have this luxury.

 

"In the age of promiscuity, women have more sexual partners than men"

 

"Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, researchers have found."

 

"And a quarter have slept with more than ten partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men."

 

"Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice.

Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door."

 

- Dailymail

 

Women control sex and relationships, which is why they hate prostitution. They would lose their power over men if it was legal everywhere.

I'm saying it's not "real" because I have not seen the study, or who has conducted the study. You cant trust a study just because they used OKcupid.

"Big Beautiful Woman" is a thing because women have been campaigning for ladies of bigger size to be more accepted in society. And yes, theres' porn sites of "BBW" and not "BBM" because the porn industry is aimed at men, and not women.

Being promiscuous has nothing to do with what we are talking about. You do realize that all those women who are having sex are probably *gasp* having sex with older men? That study was not taking looking unattractive into account at all.

Can you, as a MAN, stop telling me how woman think? I am a woman, and I have women as friends. And you are just assuming I'd get a lot of replies on a dating website, with no proof. Did you even read my links??

 

It's totally gender. I don't use the term "hideous" but what you may consider "hideous" is a fetish for men that doesn't exist for women (which is why some men like BBW and there's even a guy on this board with an acne fetish). You never hear about women wanting obese/overweight men. You already saw the dating study from Okcupid which is a "real" study from a major dating site that shows that women only respond to 10-20% of the top men and the rest on their are screwed. Women get constant attention from Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, etc. that men don't get. This is why women don't understand why men are single. If you have a vagina, regardless of your looks you will get constant attention and hundreds of messages on dating sites. Average to decent looking men and anything below that will be completely ignored and unable to get any dates online so the fact that you say that he should be able to get into a relationship online is a joke.

 

Women can't see things from another perspective because they're so privileged in the dating world/western society in general that when a man complains about not being able to get a date they say "it must be his personality" when in reality the only reason they get so many messages is not because they have a good personality or even look good but men in society are so desperate and have no standards that they will message ANYTHING with a vagina.

That's totally untrue. I'm sure there are woman who have a fetish for obese men too, just they are less likely to come out about it unlike the men because the men more often feel like they are doing the obese woman a favor by fetishizing their weight. I wouldn't call the dating study from OKcupid a "real" study. There wasn't even any link to it.

 

Trust me, women do not get attention just for having a vagina. I would know, I have one, but I've never had any man take interest in me. You don't see me crying "boohoo" and calling all men pigs, do you? If you're an ugly women, you don't get men drooling over you. Sure there are some men are so horny that they'd have sex with anything that moves, I don't know, but for the most part men want an attractive woman for a partner.

 

"BBW" things for men is mainstream and well documented. I do not see the women's groups for BBM. That is not even a term! Look up the study. If real data from a major dating site is only not a real study to you because it doesn't have the results you want.

 

If you went on a dating site you would get messages regardless if you think you're "ugly" or not. Women can get a date or have a sexual partner anytime they want because there will always be men waiting for them. 80-90% of men don't have this luxury.

 

"In the age of promiscuity, women have more sexual partners than men"

 

"Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, researchers have found."

 

"And a quarter have slept with more than ten partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men."

 

"Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice.

Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door."

 

- Dailymail

 

Women control sex and relationships, which is why they hate prostitution. They would lose their power over men if it was legal everywhere.

 

"Big Beautiful Woman" is a thing because women have been campaigning for ladies of bigger size to be more accepted in society. And yes, theres' porn sites of "BBW" and not "BBM" because the porn industry is aimed at men, and not women.

 

"BBW" is not just porn. Maybe that's what you look up but there are sites dedicated to appreciating BBW. And Hollywood promotes porn for women... 50 Shades of Grey, Magic Mike, etc. Fat acceptance is not a positive thing considering how fat the world is getting and the health problems caused by obesity. And I read your links and porn is unhealthy for men. It doesn't change the fact that women have all of the advantages in dating. And if you don't want me speaking for women don't speak for him when you say that the reason he doesn't have a partner is because of his personality. Men and women are NOT the same and don't experience everything the same.

 

50 Shades of grey and Magic Mike are both new and small compared to the number of sexually explicit things aimed at men. All I looked up was BBW because I didn't know what it was, and all of it except Urban Dictionary was porn.

I never said the reason why he couldn't have a partner is because of his personality. I said its most likely 1) appearance and 2)personality. If you are "appealing" in neither of those aspects, of course the number of people who'd want to date you are extremely low.

EVERYONE is not the same and don't experience everything the same. There are HUGE variations between women. There are HUGE variations between men. There are variations between transsexuals too. There are variations between people of the same ethnicity. There are variations between the residents of the same street. You can think otherwise, but you'd be wrong.

Look, if you keep being stubborn and arguing logic I'm not even going to bother keeping up this conversation anymore. Waste of energy.

 

It's totally gender. I don't use the term "hideous" but what you may consider "hideous" is a fetish for men that doesn't exist for women (which is why some men like BBW and there's even a guy on this board with an acne fetish). You never hear about women wanting obese/overweight men. You already saw the dating study from Okcupid which is a "real" study from a major dating site that shows that women only respond to 10-20% of the top men and the rest on their are screwed. Women get constant attention from Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, etc. that men don't get. This is why women don't understand why men are single. If you have a vagina, regardless of your looks you will get constant attention and hundreds of messages on dating sites. Average to decent looking men and anything below that will be completely ignored and unable to get any dates online so the fact that you say that he should be able to get into a relationship online is a joke.

 

Women can't see things from another perspective because they're so privileged in the dating world/western society in general that when a man complains about not being able to get a date they say "it must be his personality" when in reality the only reason they get so many messages is not because they have a good personality or even look good but men in society are so desperate and have no standards that they will message ANYTHING with a vagina.

That's totally untrue. I'm sure there are woman who have a fetish for obese men too, just they are less likely to come out about it unlike the men because the men more often feel like they are doing the obese woman a favor by fetishizing their weight. I wouldn't call the dating study from OKcupid a "real" study. There wasn't even any link to it.

 

Trust me, women do not get attention just for having a vagina. I would know, I have one, but I've never had any man take interest in me. You don't see me crying "boohoo" and calling all men pigs, do you? If you're an ugly women, you don't get men drooling over you. Sure there are some men are so horny that they'd have sex with anything that moves, I don't know, but for the most part men want an attractive woman for a partner.

 

"BBW" things for men is mainstream and well documented. I do not see the women's groups for BBM. That is not even a term! Look up the study. If real data from a major dating site is only not a real study to you because it doesn't have the results you want.

 

If you went on a dating site you would get messages regardless if you think you're "ugly" or not. Women can get a date or have a sexual partner anytime they want because there will always be men waiting for them. 80-90% of men don't have this luxury.

 

"In the age of promiscuity, women have more sexual partners than men"

 

"Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, researchers have found."

 

"And a quarter have slept with more than ten partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men."

 

"Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice.

Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door."

 

- Dailymail

 

Women control sex and relationships, which is why they hate prostitution. They would lose their power over men if it was legal everywhere.

 

"Big Beautiful Woman" is a thing because women have been campaigning for ladies of bigger size to be more accepted in society. And yes, theres' porn sites of "BBW" and not "BBM" because the porn industry is aimed at men, and not women.

 

"BBW" is not just porn. Maybe that's what you look up but there are sites dedicated to appreciating BBW. And Hollywood promotes porn for women... 50 Shades of Grey, Magic Mike, etc. Fat acceptance is not a positive thing considering how fat the world is getting and the health problems caused by obesity. And I read your links and porn is unhealthy for men. It doesn't change the fact that women have all of the advantages in dating. And if you don't want me speaking for women don't speak for him when you say that the reason he doesn't have a partner is because of his personality. Men and women are NOT the same and don't experience everything the same.

 

50 Shades of grey and Magic Mike are both new and small compared to the number of sexually explicit things aimed at men. All I looked up was BBW because I didn't know what it was, and all of it except Urban Dictionary was porn.

 

I never said the reason why he couldn't have a partner is because of his personality. I said its most likely 1) appearance and 2)personality. If you are "appealing" in neither of those aspects, of course the number of people who'd want to date you are extremely low.

 

EVERYONE is not the same and don't experience everything the same. There are HUGE variations between women. There are HUGE variations between men. There are variations between transsexuals too. There are variations between people of the same ethnicity. There are variations between the residents of the same street. You can think otherwise, but you'd be wrong.

 

Look, if you keep being stubborn and arguing logic I'm not even going to bother keeping up this conversation anymore. Waste of energy.

Stop speaking for men/other women (like you told me not to) and I'll stop being stubborn by telling you the truth.

And how exactly am I speaking for all other men/women? I am indeed speaking for the ones I know, but I don't claim that they are all a certain way. All I've been say is that different people have different thoughts even if the majority is like minded; is that really shoving words in others mouths?

?... Then tell me the truth

Yes, and I did already.

Fine, think whatever you like, I'm not continuing this argument. Have fun with your biased dichotomy and your pay-per-hour girlfriends.

 

I don't think there are people attracted to personality over appearance. I have never met them. From my experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible to draw people in with a good personality. I am not allowed to hang out with people. No one wants to do that with me, regardless of how my personality is. I am not a shitty person. I am surrounded by shitty people and the psychologists of the social skills training confirmed that.

There ARE, but it's much more uncommon. I can tell you from my experience that it is not impossible to draw people in with a good personality.

I don't know what you mean by you're not allowed to hang out with people though.

>>>>>

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

 

In general women are more pickier than men. It's been proven with studies with online dating that show that women only gravitate towards the 10-20% of men that are best looking and avoid the other 80% entirely.

 

I would never listen to women regarding dating advice because what they say is never reality. They just want to look good by saying what is socially acceptable.

 

"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh."

 

- Okcupid study

...So you think I'm lying just because I have a uterus? If I wanted to look good by saying what is socially acceptable I would say I think everyone is beautiful/handsome and that I was one of those people who don't care at all about appearances at all. Well, I'm not.

 

Can you guys stop acting like men are the victim to the horrible, vain women? Guess what, a lot of guys judge women on how they look too. Its society, not gender. Could you tell me without bullshiting that you'd be interested in a "hideous" woman if you were attractive looking yourself?

Oh, so there are people like that out there. Can you point them out for me in my neighbourhood, please? People (and girls) don't want to hang out with me. They are not allowing me to do that.

No, we think you are lying because of the immensely discriminating behaviour generally displayed by women. It's true that men can display that behaviour as well, but in far, far less capacity. "Hideous" people don't exist. I have sex with skinny A cup women, I have sex with fat D cup women, white, black... I don't really care.

Obviously, I don't know you neighborhood so it may very well be completely full of vain women. You have the internet though, and can meet potential partners through it. If people don't want to hang out with you, the most likely reason is because of your personality. Most people don't care how attractive a friend looks at all.

What do you mean "hideous" doesn't exist? I put it in quotes since beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all, but a woman totally covered in severe acne is considered "ugly" by the public. You still didn't answer my question. If you were attractive, would you still give your attention to conventionally ugly woman or would you give it to conventionally pretty women?

 

Link me to some REAL studies if you want to prove that women judge appearance more.

http://meinnaturwissenschaftsblog.blogspot.com/2014/07/sex-differences-in-implications-of.html

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/07/03/kenrick-beauty/

I can't meet potential partners through it. Trust me, I have tried that a couple of times.

Your "most likely reason" is completely wrong. The psychologists said the exact opposite about my personality and social skills. I've got the psychiatrists on my side.

The OKCupid study is in line with my personal experience and observations. The second study you link to says that men are calibrated by porn. Their "beauty radar" is not realistic and should be far more flexible. Why are men attracted to porn and why is porn made for men? It's because some men can't have sex the normal way.

Hideousness and beauty objectively don't exist. If I see a woman with severe acne, then I think that I see a women with severe acne. I think literally what I see. I don't use words as "ugly", "hideous" and "pretty". They are subject to interpretation and therefore they are empty words. If she has a heartbeat and presents her hole to me, then I take her. It is as simple as that. There are more men like me out there.

Good-looking guys bang unattractive girls all the time, lol

 

Its quite pointless to argue, some people will try to push people so that way they can't get hurt. They will constantly say no one will love them, and blame everyone else. They don't want to take chances. I've seen plenty of pretty women dating conventionally ugly guys. I knew a guy back in high school who had severe acne and acne scars yet ladies were still all over him most likely because he was a musician. I've seen conventionally ugly couples who still found love. I know people who met via video games, forums, dating sites, and even tumblr. I do agree women may generally be a little bit more picky, because of an instinct to try to pick the best mate for survival. However there are almost just as many guys who are incredibly shallow even if they aren't good looking. I put a lot of the blame on the media constantly showing us what a perfect woman looks like which is incredibly unrealistic. This goes for guys too, but to a lesser degree. Both genders are guilty of being shallow, just like there's unshallow people of both genders.

That sounds good but the stats are not in favor of this post.

 

 

from Business Insider

 

"But men and women are the same!!! You're being biased and sexist and a jerk!!! by telling the truth that I don't want to hear!!!"

 

œThe expanded horizons offered by online dating don™t equal unrestricted access to a ready and waiting list of beautiful people. Every man and woman online still has criteria that must be met by people who want to date him or her, and every guy and girl is still in direct competition with every other person of their gender¦ Whereas before a man just needed to be the best looking guy at work to get a date with a colleague, now he needed to be in the top 10% of all men to get a date with one of the women in his city.

 

"top 10% of all men to get a date with one of the women in his city.

This is the double-edged sword of online dating. You have far more access to singles than ever before. But so does everyone else. Which means that there™s also far more COMPETITION.

Especially when it comes to men trying to write to women. For all the talk about œThe End of Men and how gender roles have been obliterated and women can write to men first, blahblahblah, here™s what ACTUALLY happened after four months:

The women as a group received over 20 times more messages than the men.

The two most attractive women received 83% of all messages.

The two most attractive women probably would have received several thousand more if their inboxes hadn™t have reached maximum capacity.

It took 2 months, 13 days for the most popular woman™s inbox to fill up. At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2.3 years to fill up his."

 

http://www.evanmarckatz.com

 

"You're biased!!! I'm going to make up a fake statement against you online now because you hurt my feelings with real data!!!!1111"

 

You're doing the math of how likely it is someone will mate with you on a dating app. Beyonce had an endless amount of options. She was famous and could have anyone? from sexy poor people to sexy rich people. ANYONE in the world. But she's with Jay Z, whom I hear is very ugly. To the point where he was made fun of in school, and made fun of even more by Nas. She didn't settle for Jay Z. She loves him.

If you put yourself in situations where you can interact with people, you may find love. If you use video dating apps where they put you with people for you, you will interact and find love. Even people on this website ended up marrying each other. I don't know how bad you look, but if you look horrendously bad then you will just have to tweak some things around.

 

Its quite pointless to argue, some people will try to push people so that way they can't get hurt. They will constantly say no one will love them, and blame everyone else. They don't want to take chances. I've seen plenty of pretty women dating conventionally ugly guys. I knew a guy back in high school who had severe acne and acne scars yet ladies were still all over him most likely because he was a musician. I've seen conventionally ugly couples who still found love. I know people who met via video games, forums, dating sites, and even tumblr. I do agree women may generally be a little bit more picky, because of an instinct to try to pick the best mate for survival. However there are almost just as many guys who are incredibly shallow even if they aren't good looking. I put a lot of the blame on the media constantly showing us what a perfect woman looks like which is incredibly unrealistic. This goes for guys too, but to a lesser degree. Both genders are guilty of being shallow, just like there's unshallow people of both genders.

That sounds good but the stats are not in favor of this post.

 

 

from Business Insider

 

"But men and women are the same!!! You're being biased and sexist and a jerk!!! by telling the truth that I don't want to hear!!!"

 

œThe expanded horizons offered by online dating don™t equal unrestricted access to a ready and waiting list of beautiful people. Every man and woman online still has criteria that must be met by people who want to date him or her, and every guy and girl is still in direct competition with every other person of their gender¦ Whereas before a man just needed to be the best looking guy at work to get a date with a colleague, now he needed to be in the top 10% of all men to get a date with one of the women in his city.

 

"top 10% of all men to get a date with one of the women in his city.

This is the double-edged sword of online dating. You have far more access to singles than ever before. But so does everyone else. Which means that there™s also far more COMPETITION.

Especially when it comes to men trying to write to women. For all the talk about œThe End of Men and how gender roles have been obliterated and women can write to men first, blahblahblah, here™s what ACTUALLY happened after four months:

The women as a group received over 20 times more messages than the men.

The two most attractive women received 83% of all messages.

The two most attractive women probably would have received several thousand more if their inboxes hadn™t have reached maximum capacity.

It took 2 months, 13 days for the most popular woman™s inbox to fill up. At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2.3 years to fill up his."

 

http://www.evanmarckatz.com

 

"You're biased!!! I'm going to make up a fake statement against you online now because you hurt my feelings with real data!!!!1111"

 

 

You're doing the math of how likely it is someone will mate with you on a dating app. Beyonce had an endless amount of options. She was famous and could have anyone? from sexy poor people to sexy rich people. ANYONE in the world. But she's with Jay Z, whom I hear is very ugly. To the point where he was made fun of in school, and made fun of even more by Nas. She didn't settle for Jay Z. She loves him.

 

If you put yourself in situations where you can interact with people, you may find love. If you use video dating apps where they put you with people for you, you will interact and find love. Even people on this website ended up marrying each other. I don't know how bad you look, but if you look horrendously bad then you will just have to tweak some things around.

Your argument doesn't hold. Ugliness does not exist. Jay Z was not bullied because of his appearance. He was bullied, because the bullies are antisocial. You are blaming the victim.

I'm a 35 year old female who has been married 5 years come next March. I started developing severe cystic acne and those godawful scars when I was 27. I was seeing someone off and on at the time who I cared very much about he but didn't give two shits about me. He wasn't my first sexual partner, but this relationship was a first because we regularly had sex. I had great skin and no acne when we met and started dating (age 25), but he put me through an extremely traumatic experience and I will forever think that was a catalyst that sparked my severe acne.

After what I went through with that one guy...we'll call him B...I became severely depressed and very self-destructive. (I've always been prone to depression/anxiety/anger issues but this self-destructiveness was a new demon for me.) Part of this self-destructiveness included me going through guys like tissues and having a lot of sex. I'm not proud of that, but hey, it's part of my past...so be it. They never seemed to care about my acne or my scars...but that could be because they were just interested in sex. I don't know. *shrug* My wildness was to try in vain to escape my troubles, and a lot of different thoughts were going on simultaneously in my head...to see how many men would find me desirable...to "get back" at B...to maybe find someone who'd care about me, etc.

My husband has only known me as I am now...with acne and scars. We were off and on twice before we got back together a third time, got engaged, and got married. I was broke out during my wedding. FML, right?! Anyway, he tells me I'm beautiful and sexy and that he loves me with all his heart and all the other nice things a person wants to hear. I'm not sure I believe him all the time, but then again we've been through a shit ton of stuff during our marriage that has realllllly tried to break those bonds of matrimony, so unfortunately I don't completely trust him. Then again, I don't completely trust anyone except for my mom, lol. He's been married before and his ex-wives have smooth skin. He has smooth skin. His ex-girlfriends have smooth skin. Almost everyone I've dated/slept with had smooth skin...eh, from what I can recall there may have been one exception there, but his scarring was super light. That said, I didn't choose these men based on their skin. It does SUCK being like this, not going to lie. I duck my head a lot and am very self-conscious and aware of the lighting in a room and things like that. I constantly feel ugly and that I'm unattractive, even though my husband disagrees and heads turn to look at me and I've had men strongly come on to me despite them knowing I'm married, so I dunno.

Sorry if I'm rambling or if it's "tl;dr" but I'm giving you a window to my past.

it is true, despite affirmative action, feminism, hiring policies, men are still expected to ask girls out, make the first mive, pay fir first date. I think it is dumb but, some other guy usually jyst wanting sex will so, I learned to do it. It is embarrassing bbut I have learned it from cold approach. If not for that stuff, I never would.

34 and virgin? ii think you should do therapy.

it is true, despite affirmative action, feminism, hiring policies, men are still expected to ask girls out, make the first mive, pay fir first date. I think it is dumb but, some other guy usually jyst wanting sex will so, I learned to do it. It is embarrassing bbut I have learned it from cold approach. If not for that stuff, I never would.34 and virgin? ii think you should do therapy. I think we all could use it.

I rremember times I was excited for a date or an event only to see a deep cystic acne pimple red, inflamed, and I would pray for no hyperpigmentation or scarring. I wouldn't want to go out. If not for accutane, I would be fighting it now. Now, it is affecting my hair, my bowels, possibility of my libido, and health.

Dating was hard. I am short, my dick is small (girls would tease me), bad skin, skin damage from cystic acne, scarring, deep or large pores, hyperpigmentation, and now, shedding and hairloss mpb (male pattern baldness) induced by accutane. It has been years after accutane.

I started watching fight club on repeat. Losing all hope. "Only after you lost everything, you are free to do anything." I have nothing to lose now. I am single. I started doing pickup. I get numbers. I date. Sometimes, I get lucky. I approached a lot. I see patterns. I am indifferent to rejection. I am not married. I may never be. I am childless. It feels like fate sometimes but, I have nothing to lose now.

I got depressed once I saw my acne scar. The weird thing was I picked up a girl who ireally liked. I didn't see my skin or the scar. If I had, I wouldn't have. I would have got in my head.

We have nothing to lose.

On 11/10/2015 at 1:54 AM, mrjarjarbinks77 said:

it is true, despite affirmative action, feminism, hiring policies, men are still expected to ask girls out, make the first mive, pay fir first date. I think it is dumb but, some other guy usually jyst wanting sex will so, I learned to do it. It is embarrassing bbut I have learned it from cold approach. If not for that stuff, I never would.34 and virgin? ii think you should do therapy. I think we all could use it.
I rremember times I was excited for a date or an event only to see a deep cystic acne pimple red, inflamed, and I would pray for no hyperpigmentation or scarring. I wouldn't want to go out. If not for accutane, I would be fighting it now. Now, it is affecting my hair, my bowels, possibility of my libido, and health.

Dating was hard. I am short, my dick is small (girls would tease me), bad skin, skin damage from cystic acne, scarring, deep or large pores, hyperpigmentation, and now, shedding and hairloss mpb (male pattern baldness) induced by accutane. It has been years after accutane.

I started watching fight club on repeat. Losing all hope. "Only after you lost everything, you are free to do anything." I have nothing to lose now. I am single. I started doing pickup. I get numbers. I date. Sometimes, I get lucky. I approached a lot. I see patterns. I am indifferent to rejection. I am not married. I may never be. I am childless. It feels like fate sometimes but, I have nothing to lose now.

I got depressed once I saw my acne scar. The weird thing was I picked up a girl who ireally liked. I didn't see my skin or the scar. If I had, I wouldn't have. I would have got in my head.

We have nothing to lose.

That's good that you're not letting your acne keep you from dating. Running numbers game may be the only hope for acne laden guys to get sexual experience. I just feel that I'm truly repulsive and no women could possibly be attracted to me. It shouldn't be such a struggle, sometimes I wonder what's the point.